Navigating grief with the help of man’s best friend

Losing a loved family member can fill us with grief. Having a pet around can help you cope with that loss. Here, house call doctor, Dr Ryan Harvey tells us how pets help with navigating grief, illustrated by Emma Brooke’s relationship with her dog Marshall. This is their story…

NAVIGATING GRIEF WITH THE HELP OF MAN’S BEST FRIEND

Emma & Marshall
It is a well-known fact that Grandmothers and Granddaughters have a very special bond and my relationship with my Grandmother was no different.
This was a woman who was practically my second mum, she was a huge part of my life, she was my Gram.

We lived in a very small town in North West NSW and it’s hard to remember a day that I wasn’t at her house. We would eat, garden, watch her favourite soap opera and she would teach me to play piano. Gram was a talented pianist who taught herself to play by ear. I used to love going to church with her on the weekends just to sing along to her playing the hymns.
I would join in her Country Women’s Association line dancing class and follow her to the Senior Citizen’s Club where we would play cards and eat scones. In effect, I was her shadow.

Gram passed away at the age of 79 after a battle with dementia, I was overcome by grief and didn’t really know how to handle the situation.
Everyone’s grandparents pass on eventually. They have lived full lives, they aren’t in pain anymore and you are not supposed to dwell on it. But I did.

Enter Marshall…
A handsome black English Staffordshire Bull Terrier with more love to give than anyone could imagine. Marshall provided the unconditional love and support that I needed while I was dealing with this loss and he needed me too.

Marshall was the reason I got out of the house and went for walks, I made sure I went to the grocery store because I didn’t want him to go hungry. Staffy’s are notorious escape artists when they are bored so I made an effort to take him places where he could socialise, discover new smells and have some doggy fun.

Marshall is a big love bug and he was more than happy to cuddle with me and keep me company when all I wanted to do was binge watch Netflix. His smile brightened my day every time I saw it, and still does.

I didn’t know it at the time but looking back, I’m not sure how I would have coped without him. I used to believe that dogs simply had a magical ability to heal people but I have come to learn that there is some science behind it.

Dr Ryan explains the benefits of pets
Dr Ryan Harvey from House Call Doctor agrees with the many health benefits of having a pet and their ability to help with the grieving process.
“Owning a pet can have profound physical and mental benefits during a mourning period,” says Dr Harvey.

Dr Harvey suggests the following top 5 benefits:

1. Mood enhancement
   “Having pets around, playing and regularly exercising with them increases serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine,” says Dr Harvey.
   “These are commonly known as the happy, loving and calming hormones. Higher levels of these hormones increase general mental well-being.”

2. Staves off depression
“Pets provide limitless companionship which wards off loneliness and depression. They are also welcome distractions while grieving, giving people a sense of purpose.”

3. Healthy routine
   Pets need a regular exercise and feeding schedule to stay balanced and calm, the same works for humans too.
   “Having a solid routine increases productivity. You will be able to check more things off your to do list which leaves more time for rest,” says Dr Harvey.
   “Routines can also assist in creating a better sleep pattern which is pivotal in maintaining mental and physical health.”

4. Reduce anxiety
“Touch and movement are two sensory stress relief techniques which lower blood pressure and reduce anxiety,” says Dr Harvey. Petting an animal is a good way to stay calm and relaxed.

"

5. Socialising
   Getting out and about with your pet can keep you connected. There is a higher likelihood of human interaction on outings with a pet, even if it is just saying hello to a neighbour.
   “Having a pet can assist with a topic of conversation if you are feeling anxious and are unsure what to talk about,” says Dr Harvey.

Marshall continues to help
During my time of grief Marshall helped in all five ways Dr Harvey mentioned above. Whether I recognised it at the time or not, Marshall helped me through one of the most challenging periods of my life.
Spending time with him now reminds me of my beautiful Gram and I feel honoured to be a part of his little life every day.

How has your pet helped you cope with navigating grief?

More on grief

• Deciding the Right Time to Say Goodbye to Your Family Pet
  Deciding the Right Time to Say Goodbye to Your Family Pet. Never an easy decision but deciding the right time to say goodbye to your pet is an important consideration in any human-animal relationship.
• Pets Grieving the Loss of Other Pets
  PETS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF OTHER PETS It’s not only humans who suffer when a pet dies. Pets can too. Tom Jorgensen, from Pet Angel Funerals explains to Pet Problems Solved to look our for pets grieving the
• Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend
  WHY LOSING A DOG CAN BE HARDER THAN LOSING A RELATIVE OR FRIEND When you love pets, often the hardest part of pet ownership is saying goodbye. People are often surprised about the intensity of their grief. Professor
• The golden rule on how to care for yourself while caring for animals
  Caring for animals can be a joy and it can be a heartbreak! Care for yourself needs to be a priority. When we don’t take care of ourselves the end result – negativity towards others, burnout or even
• Pet loss – a guide for parents to Help Understand and Explain to Children
  Pet loss – a guide for parents Pet loss is never easy. When your child has lost their beloved pet, you have to cope with their grief, as well as your own. To help with pet loss, here
• Losing an animal friend: Coping with pet loss grief
  Losing an Animal Friend: Coping with pet loss grief Coping with the death of a pet Losing a friend is sad. When our best mate has fur, four paws and a tail, the feelings of grief are often
• Seniors and pets: Growing old with pets
  Seniors and pets: Growing old with pets There are many advantages to living with a pet as you grow old. While elderly people often worry about leaving their pet behind or not being able to take care of
• Navigating grief with the help of man’s best friend
  Losing a loved family member can fill us with grief. Having a pet around can help you cope with that loss. Here, house call doctor, Dr Ryan Harvey tells us how pets help with navigating grief, illustrated by